Do you fear that if you don’t manage to control the outcome of future events, something terrible will happen? Maybe you are continuously in a heightened state of stress with only brief, unsatisfying periods of relief.
Maybe you are searching for certainty in a world that is tentative and uncertain. It is precisely this unrealistic demand that creates anxiety. You think that you must accurately predict and manage the future.
So, the key to controlling your anxiety is letting go of your demand for certainty- giving up your unrealistic perfectionism about reality. Facing the inherent and unavoidable uncertainty of the future can indeed seem formidable if you demand certainty. But letting go of this demand is the key to letting go of your fear. If you don’t have to control the outcome; if you do not expect to predict with certainty what is by its nature uncertain; if you do not expect to solve a contradiction; then you are free to relax.
It is about accepting responsibility, not for the future but for the choices you freely make about the future. What is in your power? You have the power to say “I won’t fear the future.” You have the power to say “I won’t resign myself to living a life of fear.” You always have the power to say no more to such a life. What you don’t have the power to do is to know what the future holds with any certainty.
Celia Flack Counselling - Buckingham 